I read an article that challenged my thinking, it states that some parents are likely to be more considerate and understanding when their pets are tired but the moment their child shows signs of being tired perhaps from school they will not understand the same way, whether you think this is true or not its up to you, the fact of the matter is there is a sizable number of parents that are guilty of this.
Why on earth would we love pets or pay more attention to them more than children is a matter of concern in my opinion. I am not saying that we shouldn’t love or care for our pets i’m saying loving pets more than our children is wrong. With all this said, are we then surprised by what our children turn out when they are teenagers. Rejection leaves long lasting scars to anyone and as parents we should be parents that are there for our children, spend time with them, listen to them, it means a lot to them.
We should be parents that are deliberate in instilling good values to them. As I finalize this post, South Africa is on day 3 of lock down because of Corona virus. This has forced parents to spend more time at home with their children.
This is not something they have been prepared for, it came so sudden and I have seen some taking to social media to vent their frustration with helping the kids, feeding them and making sure they are engaged while home schooling is continuing.
We have focused so much on work and making money as parents, we have lost touch of how to connect emotionally with our children and those who matter most in our lives.
Work demands and long hours have ribbed us of the precious time of helping our children learn precious lessons. WE have left largely left this role to educators and Tutors. This is not wrong but we also have a role to play as parents.
The challenges with Corona virus have reminded us again that we belong in a family and in that family institution, we different roles to play. During this time of lockdown parents have to learn listen and engage with children and see the world from their perspective.
How do we then raise world changers while have a demanding corporate life and have to put food on the table?
My advise is the following, you are welcome to add to the list:
1) Talk to your kids and find out what you can do together as a family. Involve them as much as you can. As parents sometimes we decide on our own and force our decisions on the kids. Although this works sometimes but we should learn to include them if they are in the age where they can have input.
2) Work out a schedule and set time aside to do activities together. This could mean coming earlier than usual from work to spend time with them while they are awake. If you tell yourself you do not have time you will never have it. This has to be a deliberate decision.
3) Listen to their feelings, just because they are kids doesn’t mean we should ignore their feelings. They are able to express how they feel and we should encourage this. This will allow us to pick up when there is a problem they are going through
4) Acknowledge and reassure them that you understand and you care about how they feel and what is going on in thier lives
5) Assure them to help them where you can and to seek help for them where you can’t
6) Help them
7) Tell them that you love and value them. Some of us never heard these words from our parents and it will be difficult to do this but try and do it.
8) Be trustworthy with information they share with you. If they made a mistake and they tell you, guide them instead of getting angry to a point where they will not share anything again
9) If they prefer to speak to their grandmother instead of you, understand and assure them that you are available to help and guide
10) Keep communication channels open both ways. Be a safe place for them, so that even when they feel vulnerable they can be comfortable with you
11) Compliment them, don’t only speak when you criticize them
12) Tell them it is normal to be emotional. I come from a background where man are not encouraged to show their feelings and this instilled in them while they are young.
13) In places with lock down and restrictions, explain to them what Corona virus is and why we have to limit movement instead of only telling them that is what government says we must do
I hope this will help us in raising world changers.
May you get the grace to love, cherish and nurture them.
Cheers!
PS. Your comments are welcome
